The Italian Job

We give Ben a job he may regret starting...

Right, bear with me a second, I'm just going to look up the term 'movie tie-in video game' in my copy of Big children's colour book of terms. Right, here we are:

Movie tie-in video game (moo-vee tie in vid-e-o ga-meh); Term. A rushed and incredibly shallow title designed for the purpose of fleecing the games buying public into purchasing a title based upon a recent film they have seen. Seems to emit a pheromone that makes grandparents purchase for grandchild's birthday, even though grandchild clearly requested Soul Calibur II or similar 'A' class title.

Ah.... I thought as much. Well, let us see if this particular movie tie-in is one of the rare few to break the trend...

The premise behind The Italian Job is a very simple, tried and tested one. You drive around a city in a variety of vehicles (albeit a very limited amount in this title) attempting to reach certain checkpoints within a set time limit; it relies solely on the excitement of the chase and nothing else, it may be basic but sometimes it works. But even within twenty minutes of enforced play of this game (I did want to stop several times but forced myself to continue) I could tell that The Italian Job just doesn't cut it. Let me explain why.

There are several things that strike me as 'cheap' with this game, there are certain aspects that have either been omitted or added to make the game seem longer. For example, this game is incredibly short. Within twenty minutes I had completed around 40% of the single player story mode, which, I'm sure you'll agree isn't exactly value for money. I'd hazard a guess that an average gamer could complete the story mode (the only real feature the title has to offer) in a little under and hour and a half of constant play.

So, what do the developers do to make the game seem longer? Well, firstly we'll omit the standard navigation radar seen in Vice City and Driver. Yes, that's right, you'll just have to guess which road to take, more often than not leading you to a dead end, from which you'll loose just enough time to fail the mission. That's not the only thing, we then have the problem of the missions themselves; split into various sections, which all have to be completed one after another. For example, mission one has three parts, when you complete part one you'll move onto part two, and then part three and then you'll have completed the mission. But, if you fail any of the sections, you'll be forced to restart the whole mission, from the very start, which is bloody annoying if you are on section three. It's an incredibly cheap way to draw the game out and it's a technique that made me want to turn this disc into a Frisbee.

But that's not where it ends, oh no, far from it. The one redeeming feature that this game supposedly has is it's free roaming aspect. The original film and indeed it's Hollywood 'remake' (if you can call it that) had Mini's going through shopping centres, over buildings, down stairs, into hotels, through sewers and across rivers. I was rather looking forward to dashing over hedges and down staircases and such. So, how is it that on my very first attempt to go down a huge staircase situated off of the main street, I hit a six-inch curb and ricocheted-off of it as if I was made of rubber? It would appear you could only go where the developers want you to go, and their choices are severely limited. Free roaming my arse.

I could also tell you about the terrible AI drivers present here, with their inability to speed up or slow down, or even move when in your presence (you'll be rear-ended a lot). I could also tell you of the ropey graphics, mediocre sound or even the laughable 'smash bonus' and 'damage penalty' (get points for having crashes and then have them removed for damaging you car!) or indeed the 'stunt bonus' which is rewarded for turning a corner or stopping fast (not stunts when I last looked), but alas I cannot be bothered, because, just like The Italian Job, this review is far too short....

40% for Mini owners.

30% for everyone else.

40%

By Ben Jackson