Chrome

Shiny and reflective? Well, more 'wooded', actually.

More Images

(My thanks to Webster's word of the day for this review.)

bosky - adj. boskier, boskiest
1. Having an abundance of bushes, shrubs, or trees.
2. Of or relating to woods.

Chrome is bosky. That is the most accurate way to describe this rather humdrum first-person shooter. It is neither thrilling nor boring. It is neither slick nor amateurish. It is a perfect game in one regard, it precisely marks the fifty percent point of a review scale. The graphics engine does sport trees though, lots of trees. And so the compliment that I can give it, without fear of defamation, is that Chrome is the boskiest game I have ever played.

And clearly obtaining this title took precedence over everything else in the game. While other developers might strive for game balance, scripted sequences, good AI, fun combat, good story telling and other minor facets that go into making a game great; the developers at Techland obviously wanted to maximise the shrub count. I say jolly good show for them. If that's their idea of a dream game then who am I to stand in their way? Maybe it is time for a game based around the exciting world of botany?

If you want more than a forest simulator you may be a little disappointed with the rest of the game. Chrome is filled with half finished ideas from a plethora of other games. The plot is a variation on a theme about evil corporations. You're the plucky and typically dull hero who is out for revenge. Accompanying you is a female sidekick who looks like a Barbie doll with the personality to match. The lines are delivered with that rather comical pause between each sentence that you often hear in games. The dialogue is rather forgettable, too (though what else would you expect from a character called Bolt Logan), and the painful contortions of the missions take precedence over the story. One briefing went on and on about a mining colony and ended with "oh and by the way they've captured my daughter. I'd appreciate it if you'd go rescue her". It was a mere afterthought for the father. Most of these briefings take place on the bridge of your ship. The charisma of watching two computer characters stare blankly at one another in front of the same static backdrop is non-existent.

If the game play was merely dull it might not have been so bad. There are many emotions that a game might want to convey: fear, excitement or maybe laughter. Playing through Chrome made me feel miserable, utterly, utterly miserable. It's not that it's bad, it's just all so depressingly average. The same selection of weapons as seen in a hundred other games is competently reproduced here. You've got the assault rifle, the shotgun, the pistols, the sniper gun and the rocket launcher. For reasons unknown you have to juggle these using a rather stupid inventory system that is much like an RPG game. Only it's not like an RPG game because it effectively limits you to carrying one main weapon and one pistol with ammo. The rest of the space you'll fill with grenades and medic kits, all of which can be replenished from dead bodies. There is nothing else of importance to carry. Anything required by the mission doesn't get listed in the inventory. There is a music player should you want to listen to the asinine rock tracks (after the first bar you'll throw that away as fast as possible). Why they didn't just limit you to one main weapon and save everyone the bother of buggering around with the inventory is a mystery.