Dead to Rights II

Martin tackles this canine conundrum...

One man and his dog went to mow a meadow. One man, two man, three man and his dog went to.... stop a crime spree? Introducing Jack Slate. He's a cop. But then, that was obvious, wasn't it? A judge has been kidnapped by some ruffians and Jack- who, like the Canadian Mounted Police Force before him, always gets his man - must defeat the bad guys, restore order to the city and rescue an old family friend from the clutches of doers of dark deeds. Fortunately, Jack isn't alone. Introducing man's best friend and crime's worse nightmare. Introducing Shadow, the crime-fighting mutt. Does anyone else get the feeling that we've just entered the video game version of 'Turner and Hooch'?

This game has many varying starting points that could double-up as the beginning. You can get sucked into the story mode or you can simply throw caution to the wind and wail like a banshee as you indulge in the 'Instant Action' mode where you are thrown in at the deep end and confronted by ruffians with attitude, shell-suited attire and bad haircuts. Oh, and they've got guns as well. Fortunately, like every nightclub in an inner city area, piles of ammo litter the floor and all Jack has to do to replenish his supply is walk around for a bit through dimly lit corridors and dodgy, neon washed structures. Just like in 'From Russia With Love', you can lock on to individual targets before filling your enemy full of lead. Okay, you end up shooting at a shadow at the back of the room while fifteen irritated hoodlums launch frenzied attacks on your body but I never said this game was easy. There's little to differentiate the 'Instant Action' mode from meaningless, senseless and quite frankly mental violence. So, if you've just got home from the office and the boss told you to do something you didn't want to do, you can let your frustrations out on virtual crime lords.

If you manage to get yourself into a really tight fix - the nutcracker situation, to be more precise - you can summon Shadow. Shadow is capable of some really brutal disarms and he tends to bite people in painful, exposed areas if he hasn't had his Pedigree Chum. Hang on. These "ruffians" are supposed to be gangland warlords of the highest calibre. They are meant to be running the city. And yet, for some reason, they can't shoot a dog before said dog manages to get close enough to bite them? The Playstation 2, marvel though it is, will soon look old in the tooth. The next generation is just around the corner and the Xbox 360 is already causing mouths to salivate across the world. A console doesn't need a game like 'Dead to Rights II'. It's not a bad game. You shoot people or you get shot and die. It's pretty standard fare. There's nothing wrong with shooting games either. Fun can often be found in situations sketched by fantasy that would, in real life, be dangerous beyond measure. However, when I wore a younger body than the withered computer games journalist you see before you, I used to be a fan of the television series 'Due South'. That show was about a cop with a crime fighting dog. Just when you thought the heroes of the show were going to get chopped up into tiny piece, the dog would come to the rescue. Okay, so that dog was, in fact, a wolf but the principle is the same. The way 'Due South' got itself out of tricky situations was just as slap dashed and hackneyed as 'Dead to Rights II'.

Now, I know the drill. I've been here long enough. There's probably a club devoted to 'Dead To Rights II'. They probably wear badges, T-Shirts and jumpers and spend their weekends going to conventions where the stars of the game meet for coffee and a chat. That's great. If you like this game, buy it. If you need someone like me to tell you what you like, then something really has gone wrong. I'm nothing more than a guide. If you want to shoot people and laugh all night at a dog biting someone in the crotch, buy this game. If you have more refined tastes, walk past this title and leave it in the kennel.

60%

By Martin Drury